Kpoop

I just need to say this but some K-pop groups out there just disgust me. Actually, I just don't like Koreans at all. Well, I do like some Korean artists and movies, like 2NE1, Kim Hyun Jung, and a list of Korean movies but there's just something wrong about the whole idea of Koreans.

To make things clear, I am not talking about their music, but the way they look. I'm no fashion guru, okay. But these guys really look gay in a bad way. Rather, they make gay look bad. Also, I am not talking about the girls, but the boy groups.

For example that G-dragon and the guys with him that everyone's fawning about. What do they call themselves? Big Bang? I mean, really. Do they really need to be sparkly and wear shit loads of eyeliner? Seriously, man. They should get that on their face permanently so their make up artists won't waste their time glittering up their faizu.

And the way these people dress. I don't know why the Japanese look so good effortlessly, but Korean pop stars look so trying hard. Sometimes they look like something's missing in their outfit, and sometimes they look like they put on a whole department store's worth of clothing. It's like bitter coffee. You add some sugar, but then it ends up being too sweet, so you just throw it away. Lol.

There's just really something off about them. I can't put it into words... but maybe they're trying so hard? Sometimes I get insulted just by seeing their faces. I dunno. That's just me.

Of Hayao Miyazaki Films and What

I am actually in a pretty foul mood right now because my six year old niece ate my dinner and I really want to strangle her. And this huge ass moth is flying around my light. Are moths naturally dumb? This one seems to be unnaturally so.

Anyway, that's not what I'm supposed to talk about.

A few days back, my friends and I were talking about our favorite Hayao Miyazaki film. Mine was Spirited Away, Jade's was Whisper of the Heart (this isn't actually a Hayao Miyazaki film but he wrote the script for this so let's consider lol) and Mico's was.. something I forgot (I tried being considerate and asked him what it was through FB chat but the dick isn't replying). My boyfriend, when I asked him a few days later, said his favorite was Howl's Moving Castle.

I almost completely shrugged off the conversation when Jade said something that was quite.. unusual in a way? She said she loved Whisper of the Heart because the main guy character knew exactly what he wanted to be in the future, and she didn't. She wasn't sure of what to be, and said that her future still seemed so cloudy to her even though she's already got everything planned.

I actually wondered why my boyfriend's favorite was Howl's Moving Castle because it was a bit of a love story. It's my second favorite, actually, but I loved it because the whole "happily ever after" and "getting lost in a world of magic" idea which were just my cup of tea. Josh (boyfriend) said that it was his favorite because he didn't want to grow old, and that he realized that he didn't really have a childhood, that's why he wants to stay young.

I was honestly amazed how these two (who're three thousand times smarter than I am) could easily pinpoint a reason behind their fave Hayao films. I wondered what was my "hidden special reason" of liking Spirited Away, and I really couldn't figure it out.

So I asked Josh.

He said "It's the issue with your parents. You hate them but you secretly love them with all your kokoro (heart), or at least want to but can not because of reasons undisclosed." and I was like "Oh", because he was right. My parents are separated, and it's something I like putting the blame on when things go bad, especially financially.

We also have a friend who really, really, really loves My Neighbor Totoro, and even has a collection of Totoro items. I should ask her why when I catch her online. Lol.

Hayao Miyazaki films may mean differently for you guys, I'm not saying those who don't have a "hidden special reason" for liking these films are weebs (though they are most of the time). My friends and I just like looking at the deeper side of stuff. That's it. I wonder what's your Hayao Miyazaki story, though.

In-Dream Places

My head hurts from oversleeping.

Anyway, my dreams always have the same scenery but different events. Does anybody else have that? It's strange because I always have a feeling of familiarity with my in-dream places, maybe because they're like the places I've been to before, but warped and over exaggerated. They also often have supernatural residents, but I don't specifically know what they're called.

My favorite in-dream place is this really foggy mountain 'resort'. It's like a cross of one of our local mountain resorts here, and another place I don't remember where anymore from my childhood. You can get to this place through a rocky pathway, and also there's this really long hanging bridge made of wood and thick rope, and beneath it is a really clear- so clear that you can see the bottom, the roots of the trees that grow on the riverbank- and deep river teeming with creatures that look like a cross of mermaids and nymphs. Their skin is scaly but colorful, each one a different color from the other, and they have fins and look like pretty tall French models. Their eyes are all black but watery, and I do recall they have fins as hair, too. Kinda like vaporeons, actually (yes, I mean the pokemon). When you cross the hanging bridge, on the right is a pond under a big willow tree. The same creatures bathe in the pond  staring at the passing humans. I think the humans see them as well, but they don't mind them. I do think that this pond is like a portal to their river world, at least that's what I feel when I'm in my dream, but I can't be sure. The first time I dreamt about this place, they invited me in, and I think I've been in their river, but I'm not sure about that too. It seemed like they were preventing something from getting into the river, something that contaminated the water of their home and turned it black.

Other scenery I've dreamt of related to the nymph river is a hot spring coming from waterfalls. Like, huge ass waterfalls. The spring looks like a crater, it's water is lime green and people were bathing in it.Nothing special about it, except that I dreamt a friend of mine threw his toothbrush into it. There's also that man-made  Aztec themed fountain that you can actually climb.

I also dream about my high school a lot. It's a Christian school, and funny is every time I dream about it, it becomes a copy of Hogwarts. The school practically looks the same, and lots of familiar faces (often times they're warped, like some of the people are know are a lot skinnier and fatter, or older and younger than what they really are in real life) but instead of teaching the Bible, they teach magic. Latest dream I had about this place was me in the library asking where they kept the spell books because I needed a spell to cut metal. Also we were battling some dementors in our own 'forbidden forest'. Lol.

This other place is also our school, and last night was the first time I ever dreamt about it. Strangely, I was a guy in this dream. The school had been demolished and the setting was twenty years into the future. Everything around the school was barren and dead. This one particular wing of the building looked like it was cut into half, and was filled with water. One of our old teachers told us we should run around the edges so that 'she' wouldn't haunt us when we go home. 'She' was a little girl who drowned in the pool years ago, but her body was never found. For some weird reason, we needed to go down a series of stairs to get to the pool. When we got there, my classmates decided that I should go around the edges first, so I did. I decided to run so that I wouldn't loose balance, and while I was running, I saw the girl in the pool. The water was dirty of course, but it was clear none the less. She was sitting in a corner, hugging her knees. She wore a white dress and had really long black hair (cliched as fuck). So I started to run to get it over with, but I slipped and fell into the water. When I opened my eyes the little girl was in front of me, she screamed. Her mouth widened and widened.. and I woke up. Creepy as fuck.

That's all I could think of for now, and I wish I could remember all the other stuff. I wonder if they have meanings, because I haven't really done research on this subject.

A Letter to the Princess

Your Highness,

I do not understand why you should be such a dumb, insecure piece of twat. We have tried to accept you as you are, and even let you join our group of friends, because we believed that you were one of us.

I'm not saying that I entirely believe the shit that other people say that you say about us behind our back, but the fact that you are talking behind our backs just pisses the shit out of me.

You, in the first place, seemed to be so happy being around us, and I liked that. I thought that maybe it was nice to have someone new in such a small group of friends. First few weeks you were messaging us about how it was nice to finally belong somewhere, and that you had people around you who can understand you better. I had fun, too. I liked making jokes with you, let my guard down, because I believed that you have, too.

I actually don't know how to put all these feels into words. I am so enraged right now, probably because I haven't had the chance to let this out for some time and it just saved up little by little to the point of spilling out.

To cut this bull short...

Keep your insecurities to yourself. My friends are awesome people who know their place. We do backbite one another but it's to talk about a certain person's mistakes and tell him/her about it afterwards. Like the saying goes, if a person talks shit about other people to you, expect him to talk shit about you to other people, too. We do talk shit about someone in the group but it's only in the group, and we don't go on blabbering about it to other people. And, girl, unlike you, we're not dumb. We know our mistakes and fix them as much as we can, learn to love what we have and know how to work for what we want. Yes, we have debts, but that's only because at times the most just isn't enough because we have mouths to feed and bills to pay. You understand that, don't you? How frustrating it is to see your money fly away and not being able to treat yourself to something you would enjoy? Of course not! Because it's not your hard earned money, you spoiled cunt.

You keep going on about how people would distance themselves from you if they knew the secrets you keep. Princess, do you really think you're the only one? Doesn't everyone have a deep dark secret that there would never share with anyone?

And family problems! Problems at home! Really? Bitch, some people don't have parents! I don't even have a house! Check your privileges!

Jeebus on a stick, can you just please stop making all the shit in the world about you? You aren't the only git out there who's depressed and bitter and hateful. You're just a self-centered brat who thinks she's always the victim. Just get out of our lives because we don't need someone so pathetic. You are never going to have any real friends unless someone nice enough would fix your sick brain for you.

Oh, god. My mind is going blank because of just so much disgust. I don't really give a rat's ass if it were me you were messing with, but mother of jumping eggplants, you're even making up stories about my boyfriend's younger sister. If you're jealous because she's pretty and young unlike your fat ass, then keep it to yourself. If you're jealous because a lot of boys like her with out her putting much effort and showcasing her money, well suck it up.

I still have a lot to say, and this anger would probably go on for more than a week, but the Holy Spirit just whispered unto me and I realized that I should stop wasting my time and effort on you because I've already wasted enough. After all, "neglect and indifference deal much more damage than outright dislike."

I hope you all the motherfucking success in life.

Love,
Your Conscience.

I feel like tuna

when it's already processed into tuna spread.

Work schedules have been changed and now I go in at 1am. Jesus Christ on a stick, talk about time warp. Gots not much tiem for my animu and shiz. Still kinda happy though since Journey to The West is complete and excited to watch it! :D